i'm meant to write stuff here?
Becoming a cold hearted bitch wasn’t really what I planned to do with my life but here I am
Hi there anonymous, firstly, thank you for your very politely worded message. You could have easily been much meaner. I personally identify as a feminist, I strongly believe and enforce this belief. At least, I try my best. However, I am not perfect and I am a straight, sexually active male. Those two things may seem to contradict each other but really I am just attracted to women. I’m not sure if that’s different to objectifying because I can’t stop being attracted to women and, yes, their bodies. I’m not attracted to men the way I am to women. But I do often have the same reaction. Often I will see Chris Pratt or Zac Efron or Chris Hemsworth and think “damn son”. Not sure what the conclusion to this is. I like people and their bodies.
This is less a feminist rant and meant more to appeal to your professional sensibilities. You asked for feedback so here are a few thoughts.
I’m guessing you joined Tumblr to have it be another way for your admirers to find you and interact with you in the social media universe and not necessarily as a space for (unmediated) personal expression. You know that replying to tweets, answering Tumblr asks, and reblogging fan posts helps keep people engaged, which means they’re more likely to keep paying attention to you and the things you do. That’s good. But I’d like to suggest that a post akin to “OMG look at this hot chick!” is something you’d share with friends who could understand it in context, not with an army of young people who follow you mostly to see photos of your face and adventures. (That’s objectification of a different sort; let’s not get into it.) Furthermore, you don’t ever need to advertise that you are a straight, sexually active male any more than you’d announce your bank account balance and pin or publicly admit you’re into diaper play. (Unless the announcement was funny, in which case, anything goes.) We’d all stand around shrugging our shoulders going “yeah, so?” Nothing’s shocking. Being a straight dude is quite common and we’re all cool with it.
At some point the woman whose picture you posted consented to having her photo taken, so I don’t think consent is the issue here. But it’s like you’ve held up this picture and screamed “this is what I like, value, and want to have sex with!” to an enormous room full of young women who value you and what you might think of them but don’t look anything like that picture and never will. They like you, and want someone like you to like them, and somehow they begin thinking that a man like you won’t like them if they don’t look or act like what you (and a million other men) have told them you want. It’s madness. It will take them ages to realize that you are a stupid quiff-head whose opinion literally doesn’t matter.* I mean that in the nicest way. Obviously you’re not responsible for what these girls think of themselves. But hey, if you’re in a position to do things differently (in this case, not hitting the reblog button) to make things better, wouldn’t you? I guess that got a little ranty. I apologize.
I get the sense that you’re a bottom-line kind of guy. So here it is: If you’re using Tumblr (or social media in general) as a tool to drive video views, merch revenue, ticket sales, and/or prompt new opportunities for you and your colleagues, posting things that could disenfranchise a good percentage of your audience is not good for business. Especially when there’s no pay off or punchline!
I’m not calling you out. I’m not even suggesting that you did anything wrong. I think you’re smart and will do better, particularly because it’s in your own interest, but also because it’s in the interest of those who support what you do and want to see you succeed. I’m one of those people. I wouldn’t have bothered with a response if I didn’t care.
Thank you very kindly if you’ve read this. Thank you even more kindly if you’ve understood I mean well. I’m sorry it’s posted publicly; just let me know if you’d prefer I delete it. I apologize if my minor sass clouded the point at all. I just can’t take things too seriously.
Don’t be mad. I still love you, but only slightly less than I used to. And a bit less than I love Dean. But a whole lot less than I love Daniel, because that guy is an adorable treasure. I’m sure you understand.
All the best,
p.s. Can you please never, ever talk about labia on camera again? I have a whole other essay prepared on that topic if you’re interested. No? Oh, ok.
*Pause for a moment of Bing appreciation.
did everyone just quietly forgive pharrell for being in blurred lines
I think I am surviving
in all the wrong ways
Oh hey, hi Tumblr staff!
Could you clue me in to how long the As Above So Below movie sponsored ad will be showing up on my dashboard? I’d like to log the hell off and not come back until it’s gone.